Take Two

So, I’m back after all – albeit with new digs.  In my last entry (which seems like forever ago in my hormonal-fueled emotional state but was actually just over a week or so), I shared the news that I was shutting down the blog due to LG’s discomfort with the general concept of putting our (his) personal biz on the internet.  All true, but the one detail not included in the first rendition is that the thing that sent him over the edge was the fact that I shared the original blog address with my sister.  Now to me, what’s the big deal, because it wasn’t like she was going to read anything in the blog that we hadn’t already discussed ad nauseam, but to him it crossed the line as it removed any chance at complete anonymity.

After many tears (it was quite surprising to me how quickly I grew to need this avenue and this community as an outlet), recriminations, tense silences and whatnot, we finally got to a place that we could have a rational discussion about what each of us was feeling and needing in the situation.  He needed to know that his need for privacy was being respected by not creating a written record on the wide world of Internets that could be linked back to our family, and I needed a place to write down my feelings about what we’re dealing with and get support from an amazing group of people who find themselves on the same unfortunate road but still travel it with grace, dignity, and kindness.  So…

Patience Song is now officially May the Road Rise.  It will still be a place where I share my thoughts, feelings, opinions and hopefully make some connections along the way, but it will not be shared with anyone IRL.  The name change was part of our agreement.  I’m actually saddened by that, because it took me a long time to come up with the original name, and once I did I instantly felt a strong connection to it, but such is life and the spirit of compromise.  The new name comes from the traditional Irish blessing, and I am struck by the imagery of a (winding) road taking us to meet our children to be.

Now back to regularly scheduled programming…cycle updates.

I start stims tonight, and I am ready!!  Being on Lupron for more than 3 weeks has taken its toll, and I’m looking forward to balancing things out a bit.  Since I overstimmed last time and Dr. Yacht feels that may have impacted egg quality, we’re dialing it down a bit this go-around.  Same medications, just lower dosages to start.   No baseline this time due to the Lupron, so I go in for the first cam/vampire (i.e. Ultrasound & Bloodwork) treatment on Wednesday.  Let’s do this!


3 Responses

  1. My first time reading your blog, and I for one, am glad the compromise was reached and your story continues. My Lupron starts this week. I have no idea what to expect other than I’m pretty sure after 3 weeks I’d be ready to get on with it.
    I was very torn about sharing my URL with the real world and in the end caved and let a few real ‘know me in person’ people in…I may regret that down the road.

  2. mate, thanks for the comment on my blog.

    I’m sorry to hear about the name change, but marriage = compromise, and he does have a point. I’d probably freak if my sister in law or any of “the family” read my blog. ugh!

    But – bring on the stims!! wishing you all the best and hope no overstimming and nice, good quality eggs with potential to go all the way!

    (p.s. I’m in australia so the HR laws are similar but different – they can’t ‘fire’ me for trying to have a baby or medical leave, but I’m being offered a voluntary redundancy – i.e. they’re gonna make it look like I left “of my own accord” but effectively being railroaded still, yep. If I decide to stay I have no doubt they will make it a living hell until I leave. thanks heaps for the thought and background into your post though, much appreciated. )

    good luck with the stims, I’ll be checking in for hopefully good news =)

  3. happy anniversary! We too started IVF soon after getting married (two months after, to be exact). It made for a wild ride that first year. congrats on your first wedding anniversary. hope this cycle is the one.



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