Taking a Deep Breath

First, my deepest thanks to all of you who have stopped by and offered words of comfort and your voices of experience.  All of your comments have provided incredible comfort to me and to LG.  As I’ve written about in the past, this blog has been a source of contention between LG and me.  Over the past couple of days, I’ve read him several of the comments I’ve received, and I think he’s finally starting to understand why having this blog and your support means so much to me.

Even just a few days have made a difference, and I’m starting to feel better.  Hope has crept back in…she’s a tough gal to keep down!

We were very fortunate to be able to get in with Dr. Yacht today for our WTF meeting – especially since I’m traveling for work the next two weeks solid starting Monday, and I didn’t want to have to wait until I got back in town.  The meeting went really well.  I do love Dr. Yacht.  We had a good discussion and here’s what we’ve learned and/or plan to do differently next time.

(1) The fact that I stimulated so well using two completely different protocols yet had pretty significant attrition at each phase suggest to him that it is a quality issue – egg or sperm or both.  He believes this is the cause moreso than an implantation issue as my lining has been ideal both times.

(2) Because the lining looks great but now a total of six nearly perfect Day 3 embryos have failed to yield a pregnancy, he is considering some sort of genetic issue with the embryos.  To that end, if we have happen to have a better yield next time and there are enough embryos for it to make sense, he will perform PGD.

(3) I asked him about immunology issues.  As I suspected based on what other Dr. Yacht patients have said, he doesn’t really buy into the theory, but he did run a panel of bloodwork today to look at immunological levels as well as to perform karyotype testing to look for chromosomal abnormalities.  He did say that he will add Lovenox to my post-transfer protocol next time just to cover our bases.  He does not believe in IVIG treatment, but did give us the name of a local doctor if we wanted to pursue.  He said if we decided to go that route, he would still do our treatment, but the other doctor would manage that portion of my treatment plan.  Based on his explanation, that’s not something LG and I are going to pursue at this time.

(4) Because our first IVF demonstrated that at least one of our embryos has made it to blast, we are going to push this time to Day 5 no matter what.  Worse comes to worse, we’ll thaw our frozen guy that morning as a backup plan.

(5) NO LUPRON!!!  Since I stimmed fine on the pill, we’re going to go back to that.  LG is very happy about that as he feared for life and limb last time around.  My tear ducts are also grateful.  The makers of Jelly Bellies and Twizzlers (my go-to comfort foods) – less so.

(6) I plan to add acupuncture next time around.  Maybe not on the days of ER and ET as that’s logistically difficult, but at least during the stimulation phase.

These last 2 aren’t protocol related but feel equally important:

(7) We are taking a break until the June cycle.  In the meantime, Italy has been chosen as the location for the consolation prize.  We’re hoping to plan a trip for early April, so I need to get crackin’ on that.

(8) I also plan to try to add a few things back into my life that seem to have been sacrificed on the altar of all-things-babymaking.  We’re still not making huge moves like changing jobs or moving – both of which are oft-discussed topics of ours, but at least I can get back to some of the activities like singing lessons and cooking classes that gave me a little dimension.   I really need that.

So, thanks in large part to you guys and Dr. Yacht, we’re picking ourselves up, taking a deep breath, and going forward.

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6 Responses

  1. Italy sounds just lovely. I am really glad your doctor seems so willing to listen and move forward in a way that makes you feel good… that is so, so important.

  2. Terrific destination choice! Have a blast and enjoy the wine.

    If you get a chance and are in Florence – look up the bike tour company called IBike Italy. We had this crazy tour guide named Pear. Biking through the Tuscan countryside may be the greatest thing I’ve done in life so far. If you consider it, be sure to bring a pair of padded crotch pants. Otherwise, you may have trouble sitting down for the remainder of the trip.

  3. I am so glad you had a good WTF meeting. I cannot imagine how frustrated you both must be. It is awesome that you are doing some non-baby things while you take a break- I can’t think of a better relax-and-unwind place than Italy! 🙂 BTW, thanks for stopping by my blog, too. I know the road ahead is full of chances for mishaps, but we are thrilled to get to start. Talk to me on day 10 of stims, I guess… might be singing a different song!

  4. I am so glad to hear your meeting with the Dr felt productive and informative. It really does make a difference, I think, to know where you’re headed and what the plan is going to be even if it ends up a bit altered on the way.

    Congrats on Italy and maybe you can get in the spirit by cooking a yummy Italian meal! Wish I could have some!

  5. Here from LFCA.

    I’m so relieved that you are both doing okay, considering. Its so difficult dealing with a negative but good to get back on track with planning the next cycle. Its what keeps me (in)sane and allows me to recover from the grief of the failed cycle. And I never underestimate a good ‘wtf’ meeting especially with a doctor that seems really good!

    Pushing for blastocysts is a great idea… I always have blastocyst transfers unless there is good reason not to. I’m also considering acupuncture for the next cycle but who knows. its far away so I have all the time to plan!

    Italy sounds wonderful! I wish you all the best rediscovering yourselves before the next cycle, and of course all the luck for the next cycle.

  6. sounds like the meeting was successful. if you can come up with a plan, that is a good sign. i think that you will like acupuncture. 🙂 also…taking a break until june i think is good. give yourself some time to physically and emotionally recover and recharge.

    *hugs*

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